I was unhappy and stressed-out. After a family loss and a big
career change I was not at ease. Plus, like many moms, I was finding hard to
juggle motherhood, house chores and a full-time job while trying to find time
for myself. Knitting gave me the peace I was looking for – or at least part of it.
For as long as I can remember, I can picture both my grandmothers
knitting. I didn't know my paternal grandma (Tita) much, as she died when I was
young. But one of the most vivid memories I have of Tita is her knitting bag: it
was gold and teal brocade with delicate light blue yarn inside. For some reason
that yarn and that colour remained in my memory, and I associate that
particular hue of blue with her. I call that colour "Tita blue".
As for my maternal grandma, she is still in our lives and up until
her 90th birthday she knitted every day pretty much everything: from exquisite
baby sweaters of fine pastel-coloured yarn, to bathroom mats made of colourful
thick wool. She knitted for us, not only sweaters, but socks, blankets, ponchos
and very uncomfortable underwear. Looking at her knitting – while chatting, watching TV and organizing
grandpa's life –always
seemed utterly peaceful.
I have always associated needlework with peacefulness. Yet, I have
never been interested in actually knitting. Mainly for two reasons:
1) I used to wrongfully connect knitting to
being old, thinking it’s for grandmas. I can assure you they didn't learn to
knit on their 80th birthday, they've probably been knitters for most of their
life.
2) I'm not very good at crafts, even when I want
to learn every single craft there is –
from embossing to macram̩ Рevery time I go to a Michel's store.
But when a group of colleagues (yes, all under 70) created The
Knitting Club as a part of a wellbeing program, I decided to give it a try. I
was spending most of my lunch hour staring at my iPhone browsing through junk
in social media and I thought knitting could be good for a change and a nice
way to de-stress.
Before this I had tried a few things to alleviate stress,
including meditation, but –
while I consider it a very respectable discipline – it's not my cup of tea. Perhaps it has to do
with the fact that the very first time I tried meditation it was in my boss'
office. Being barefoot and with my eyes closed in front of superiors and
colleagues made me feel a bit awkward! As one of my colleagues put it: "It
was like having sex with someone for the first time, I kept thinking, am I
breathing too loud? Do my feet smell?" There is no way one can learn to
relax like that!
So, I went to the first knitting meeting. I have never felt so
stupid in my life! It was supposed to be an all-levels group, yet I was the only
one who had no idea what they meant by purl
or cast-on and some of the
participants were actually wearing their creations! They kindly offered to
teach me but I was looking at the needles as if they were heavy machinery.
After 45 minutes, this is what I was able to accomplish:
It was so stressful that I almost quit, but I didn't. Later on
that afternoon, back at home, I looked up knitting tutorials on YouTube and hit
replay and pause until I figured it out.
I'm no Martha Stewart, and I doubt I’ll ever be as good as my
grandma, but now I'm down to 3 scarves and I have started knitting a blanket.
My kids proudly wear their colourful scarves and I think it's good for them
seeing me peacefully knitting next to them rather than exhausted looking
compulsively at my iPhone.
I still stress over a myriad of things, that is just who I am, but
knitting relaxes me and takes me away. I whisper, "one knit, one purl, one
knit, one purl" like a mantra and suddenly I'm at ease. I'm sure it did
the same for my grandmas, knitting took them thought births and deaths, joy and
sorrow, one knit and one purl at a time.
Growing up I was an avid reader but I had no access to a variety of children’s books other than the classic fairytales, which I read over and over. You can imagine my excitement with the selection of kids books that we can find nowadays, and don't get me started on the illustrators! In my scale of cool jobs an illustrator of children’s books has one of the coolest jobs, but that is a topic for another day.
